I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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