can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
