You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I faked an abortion last night.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
