Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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