Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
