i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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