i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
