awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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