just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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