It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
