my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize