Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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