i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I don't think brook has ever known best
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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