We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Randomize
