be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
