i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
