I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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