I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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