i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Say something about gay babies.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
