We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
handjob tips. give me some.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
