No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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