I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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