That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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