You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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