i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
