But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
