I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
