mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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