i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
only you would photoshop your dick
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
