I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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