somebody snuck up and got me drunk
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Couch. On fire.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
