He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
is that a dick in a sweater?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
