My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
