test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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