i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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