Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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