hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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