Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
