Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
