We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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