I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
