Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
