That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
