I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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