you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
