We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
