Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
