Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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