Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
