dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The Olympian is in my bed
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize