So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
