i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
