Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
