next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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