White coat. Heels.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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