We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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