My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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