My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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