Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
