It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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