I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
