I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
