I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
