barbara walters just said penis...
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
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i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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